Our Vision
Refurnishing the White Residence is a sacred task. My all-star staff of designers consists of London Tipton, the ghost of Elvis Presley, a prom queen called Kaighleigh, Mr. Monopoly, a handful of Real Homemakers, and Queen Elizabeth’s 2 making it through corgis.
All aesthetic enhancements to the White House need to honor America’s ideals, mirror America’s potential, and display America’s imagination. Or simply be glossy.
Our leading worths are sophistication and class. That’s why we loaded our Pinterest board with photos of Penny pincher McDuck’s cash container, cruise liner precious jewelry stores, the Cheesecake Factory, rejected Baz Luhrmann establishes, and the inoperative mobile app “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood.”
The Oval Office
Below we asked: “What if Liberace and Marie Antoinette had a baby? And what if that child projectile-vomited throughout the area?”
Void was our opponent. The clearance aisle at HomeGoods was our response.
Our principle for the wall surfaces was “consequences of a King Midas orgy.” Our ideas for the fire place mantel was “gift table at the weddings of a historically trivial Habsburg.” And our direction for the doors was “whatever gold crap we have left.”
The Rose Yard
Here we asked: “Keep in mind that Capacity episode where a concrete vehicle swamped the kitchen? What happens if it flooded a valued American spots rather?”
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis remains an adored design symbol. We worked relentlessly to make choices that she would locate dreadful.
Nature stimulates hope, tranquility, and renewal. We paved over it as swiftly as we could.
Our approach for the outdoor patio was “food court at an exterior shopping mall.” Our idea for the tables was “sweet finds at a yard sale.” And our motif for the umbrellas was “why the hell not?”
The Ballroom
Right here we asked: “What if we unloaded $ 200 million into a vanity project?”
We are doing our homework for this 90, 000 -square-foot growth. As we speak, my reliable stylists are studying every location from the quondam TENDER LOVING CARE reality program Four Weddings
This area’s atmosphere is to be figured out. Current frontrunners are “Caesars Palace,” “Little Caesars,” “A TikTok influencer’s sweet sixteen,” “The brand-new LaGuardia Terminal B,” “The old LaGuardia Terminal B,” “Middle ages Times,” and “The Warbucks’ Manor backdrop in a secondary school manufacturing of Annie ”
Looking Ahead
My thorough team is not done yet. Kaighleigh is equipping the Scenario Recreation room. The corgis are tweak the Lincoln Sauna. And Satan is generously re-lending us his red Xmas trees for permanent installation in the East Colonnade.
Our efforts need not stop at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Ms. Tipton will enchant the Washington Monument. Mr. Monopoly will gild the Portal Arch. And the Space Needle has to go– it freaks out RFK Jr.
Like America itself, the White Residence is unfinished and ever-changing. We acknowledge that future managements may reverse our job. Well, the joke’s on them. We slapped Command strips all over the Oval Office. Have a good time removing wall pieces.